Submitted and Written by Janine and Chris

I don’t know why I didn’t think of this sooner. I played the Zest commercial for my friend and she immediately started talking about the Sure deodorant commericals where the Sure people would raise their arms triumphantly for whatever reason and the unsure people kept their arms at their sides and looked like handicapped chickens. The music in it reminds me of the Ferris Bueller “Ohhhh yeahhh” music.

Submitted by katsak

Krazy Glue was so dangerous as a kid. I put some in my sisters hair and… well, let’s say that did not go over so well with my parents. Anybody else abuse Krazy Glue?

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Submitted by Sarah C

Who could forget the naked floaty pens that it seems everyone’s Dad owned at one point or another. We’d sneak them so we could see the lady’s dress come off and have a laugh. Other than that, Floaty pens were also a great way to commemorate family trips or to show off to your friends at school where you’d traveled that summer.

Submitted by Jake E

Handheld fans are just about worthless for cooling you off because they don’t blow very hard and the battery life is fairly short, however, on a squelching-hot summer day a handheld fan made you feel like a million bucks. When combined with a water bottle for misting, nothing short of a cranked up air-conditioner could make you feel better.
They also had other fun uses…

Submitted by Sal O

Long ago, in a land far, far away, there was a magical place called Patchouli Paradise. In this land there was a heavy haze, sometimes so thick that it would blot out the sun. Contrary to what you might think, instead of causing dreariness amongst the residents of Patchouli Paradise, it caused great merriment and mirth.
The people would run to and fro, dancing and singing and wasting away their days with plentiful snacks and conversation about trivial things.
From this place came a great magical lamp, much more powerful than any genies lamp. When the sun went down, the people of Patchouli Paradise would turn to their Lava Lamps for illumination and it would provide for them thousands of hours of joy and happiness and inspiration.
The land of Patchouli Paradise was stomped out by an evil, scowling old man who chased the people from their paradise into a cold, hard world of slavery and bondage.
Only a few relics remain from the mythical land of Patchouli Paradise and one of those relics is the Lava Lamp. Unfortunately, the descendants of the people from Patchouli Paradise are restricted to tight quarters amongst “places of higher learning”, where they’re taught not to think, but only to retain information and commands, and to react to certain situations appropriately.
Sometimes deep in the night, with the guidance of the Lava Lamp the descendants of Patchouli Paradise are visited by the haze from their homelands and given the joy and merriment of their parents. However, these descendants must hide the haze by shoving towels under doors and spraying deodorizers, because even though the evil old man perished from the land long ago, his minions still prowl searching for them so that they may crush the Lava Lamps and drain the descendants of their power.