Submitted by Jason L

I liked this commercial more than I enjoyed playing the game. In case you’re wondering what the lyrics are, I’ve transcribed them for you:

It’s sometime in the future…
the ultimate challenge…
CROSSFIRE!

CROSSFIRE!
CROSSFIRE!
CROSSFIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRREEEEE!

Submitted by Kim S

Jiffy Pop Popcorn was noticeably tastier than your microwavable variety. But unfortunately, Jiffy Pop was eventually nudged off the market by its less delicious competitors. An aside: stovetop popcorn also reminds me of that episode of Futurama where Fry puts the “Iffy Pop” in the microwave, which then sends the crew back in time.

Submitted by Kevin N

For anyone who’s ever played a Final Fantasy title, this epic nerd win signaled that you were about to get some free potions, gil, and if you were lucky, a phoenix down. Behold! The best cockatiel ever:

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Submitted and Written by Laura C

Who and what could be more of an Epic Win than Les Paul and the guitar named after him? Many, so many of our personal musical Epic Wins would not exist today were it not for Les Paul and his creations; after all, he didn’t just invent the electric guitar, he also invented multi-track recording, which musicians have relied on heavily for decades. The man was so dedicated to his craft that when he suffered a badly-broken right arm as a young man, he instructed the doctors to set it so it would heal permanently cocked, ready to strum. Truly, one of the most epic of wins.

Submitted by Carl P

This was the greatest video ever when I was a kid.

Well put, Carl P. Each element of the video itself leaves something to be desired, whether it’s the dancing (fail), the lyrics (fail), or Vanilla Ice himself (epic fail), but tie all these things together into one of the greatest film franchises of our childhood, and you’ve got an epicdoubleplusmeganostalgia win.

GO NINJA, GO NINJA, GO!

The rap was featured at the end of 1991’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze. For those with short attention spans, be sure to skip ahead to 2:58 in the video to see the stupidest dance moves ever choreographed, and 3:52 where Ice talks about writing the song for the movie, proving that he is official the whitest person to have ever existed.

More Vanilla Ice craziness after the jump (and by craziness, I literally mean Vanilla Ice going crazy).
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