Yes, nostalgia fans, Monday WTF is upon us again. Please feel free to leave suggestions for next week’s edition in the comments.

Submitted by Saywhat?, owner of gold sequined gloves.

Fearless lipsynching? Check! Spazzy dancing (including The Worm and The Mime)? Check! Incredibly dramatic facial expressions? Check! Great ’80s fashion? Check! High WTF factor? Check! I think we should pass this video around the internet and, if all is right in this world, endless parody videos (à la “Single Ladies”) will begin popping up.

Happy Holidays, Once Upon a Winners! As we get closer to Christmas, many of us may begin experiencing a stirring of holiday-tinted nostalgia. Childhood presents, delicious feasts, drunken office parties. As a way of celebrating all that is kitschy and fun about Christmastime, we are holding a Hideous Christmas Sweater Contest!

Send pictures of your favorite (or most embarrassing) tacky Christmas sweater from years past. Or send in pictures of that family member you’d particularly like to embarrass wearing something similar (or dare I say: even worse?!) to the Christmas couture pictured above.

As you know, Once Upon a Win deals in epic WINS from the past, so we suggest digging through those old photo boxes in the attic that haven’t been opened in 10 years for the really nostalgic fashions.

The contest will run for a week. We will be accepting submissions through December 28th, 2009. We will choose our favorites from your submission and post before all the snow has melted.

Have fun, good luck, and happy holidays!

Contest ends at 12:01 a.m. on December 29th, 2009

Email submissions to: onceuponawin@gmail.com

Submitted by Shannon S, not included (along with dolls, fashions, and batteries):

Just a guess: The novelty of this commercial has outlasted the actual dollhouse, itself. Even if the quality may seem a bit shoddy, every girl (and perhaps some of the boys) I knew wanted one of these things when the commercials hit the air in 1992. It was perfectly portable, which meant you could take it over to your friends’ and play. Or drag it along on long family road trips. And how ’bout that jingle?! Not really very catchy, is it? However, listening to it now, I am transported back in time, as I recall it playing during every commercial break on Nickelodeon.

Today’s LOLMart Shirt of the Day is available to purchase THROUGH THE WEEKEND ONLY, and then it will be gone forever!

This shirt is about the eternal struggle of a man with a throwing star versus a man with a talking bird. Wait, no, that doesn’t sound right.

This shirt is for people who think on their own, for people who don’t just live within the confines of a red-state, or a blue-state, or a skull-and-crossbones-flag state. This shirt is for people who know that the eternal struggle between ninjas and pirates is not even a fair fight. This shirt is crafted specifically for people aware of the fact that one side strikes from the darkness, unseen, with, like, the power of the ancients or something, while the other side has a peg leg and a substance abuse problem.

It’s a fact, plain and simple. Ninja > Pirate. Oh, and: People Who Buy This Shirt > People Who Don’t.

LOLMart t-shirts are priced at only $15 (that includes FREE US ground shipping!) and make the perfect holiday gift for a friend (or for yourself).

Submitted by MistyQueen, from concentrate:

I remember the sound that the juice would make when you plopped it out of the can and into the pitcher. You had to wait for it to thaw for a few minutes after you pulled it out of the freezer, because it wouldn’t slide out of the can. We always had orange, apple, and grape juices and on occasion mom would get lemonade. I always remember the cashier had to wipe the frost away from the upc before she could scan it.

Of course, you can still find juice concentrate in any grocery store. But there is something about it that conjures up tastes and smells (and the image of those wooden spoons, which my mom always used to stir the juice) from childhood. Maybe, as we get older, we get lazier, and we don’t mind shelling out more money for the non-frozen (read: no assembly required) variety.