Anything for Love by Meatloaf
A play by play of this video is so much weirder than even Mr. Loaf could have expected.

Love is a Battlefield by Pat Benatar

Oh teenage angst, we salute you.

And now the icing on the cake…..

Total Eclipse of the Heart The Literal Version

Submitted by Chris S, who still can’t read without audio assistance

These things were epic back in the day. You had a book and a tape, and the tape would read the book to you. You even had a tone to tell you when to turn the page. I’m sure there are a lot of kids who got a leg up on reading with these.

Submitted by Crusty Cravings, who loves to go fast

An excellent way to buy your kids friends. This toy was like child cat-nip.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! That jingle will now haunt me the rest of the day.

Submitted by K Hilsgen, who really just loves bears.

Those crazy gummies, bouncing here and there and everywhere. The best part of my after-school cartoon routine, next to Tale Spin. Good times, good times.

Ed note: It’s apparently Epic Win Cartoon Tuesday.

Submitted by A Stein, who is sweet as berries.

It’s so nice to see Strawberry Shortcake back before her Ashlee Simpson style makeover.

Submitted by Deadly Dripper, who drinks his sugar water like a king

Sip carefully — Kool-Aid Man could burst through your wall at any moment! Oh yeah!

Submitted by Stephen G, who rocks a mean ’stache.

Further proof that B-list celebrities were just as bad as drawing as your friends.

Submitted by Dandy Whiskers, who loved his special programs

The theme music to Storybreak rocked so hard, you knew that the animations coming your way were serious business.

Submitted by M Sanchez, who exclusively buys Cassingles.

Every self-respecting teen had a collection of Cassette singles. How else could you groove to Debbie Gibson? It was also the first step to an original mixtape.

Submitted by Sonya D, who still has scars

The real rash comes from all that leather I wear when I’m out street racing.

Submitted by Kathleen A, who needs a REAL southwest salsa

Apparently, the microwave is a staple on farms everywhere.

A salute to the commenters — “Git a Rope!”

If only we all had saxophones that followed us around. Life would be a party…that no one else would attend.

“West End Girls” by Pet Shop Boys, submitted by TheRodeo, who is the founder of fun.

My brother and I had a costume trunk down in the playroom and let’s just say that we used to jam out to this in cowboy hats.

“Total Eclipse of the Heart” by Bonnie Tyler,  submitted by QuoteMan, who needs to turn around.

More unintentional comedy and less “art” than the intention. Sorry, Bonnie. However, still a karaoke classic!

Leave your video picks for next week in the comments for another dose of 80s awesome.

Submitted by George D, who played well with others

The best thing about the parachute game was that you didn’t need any athletic skills at all to participate.

More like Big Trouble on Little TV screen! (See what I did there??) I forced 10 friends to cram in to the playroom of my house just to watch Kurt Russell kick some ass. I could only love him more in Overboard.

Submitted by Maya W, who could eat a whole bag of sweet deliciousness

I still can’t figure out what White Mystery is — other than a taste of amazing.

Submitted by M Lopez, who is truly outrageous.

This cartoon fooled me in to thinking I looked awesome in tight pink leggings, heavy blue eyeliner and an arm full of jelly bracelets. I still refuse to believe otherwise.

Submitted by Donna D, who loves anything Fred Savage.

The longest commercial for Nintendo ever, but can you blame them? Super Mario 3 was pretty kick ass.

Submitted by K-Mug

We invite you to share in the joy of this old school instruction guide for kitty potty training. If you don’t watch until you get to the note, you are seriously missing out.

Meow! You’re sharing this toilet with one cool cat, so please be polite. This takes being a cat lady to the next level.

Submitted by S to the Einberg, who’s more than meets the eye.

Telling time should never be separate from fighting crime.

See more Gadgets in Disguise from Epic Win FTW!

Submitted by Corynne W, who is a super deep thinker

Oh Captain, my captain! Oh, Robbie Dubbs, please stop making movies like Old Dogs & Happy Feet 2. It’s beneath you.

Cartoon time! She-ra Princess of Power was a favorite. Come to think of it, she had an odd and sophisticated voice for a cartoon character….

My parents would harass me to play outside, but I had big thing to do. Like, um, play Punch Out.

Submitted by Brian O, who still has battle scars from recess

I used to have so much fun playing in gravel playgrounds. Now it’s all wood chips and rubber and safe play, but what fun is that? How can you play hot lava and keep off the ground and other such games when there’s no danger involved in falling off the playground equipment? Lame…

You know why our youth was awesome? Because we learned legit life lessons on the playground: The world is a dangerous place. Also: that snake is wearing a top hot. Awesome.

Submitted by S to the Einberg, who always finds a date

Dating Darwinism (aka: The Singled Out theory of dating): Only the funny survive. Unfortunately, those funny people weren’t generally good looking. Except Jenny McCarthy. She won at life.

Fave commment: As I recall, the number one rule on this show was something like, “Don’t touch Jenny.” -jiminy

These guys totally blend in to the scenery. It’s just like watching National Geographic.

“Physical” by Olivia Newton John, submitted by QuoteMan, who would like to get physical with Ms. N-J.

Bowflex meets Playgirl meets Biggest Loser. An 80s classic.

“Obsession” by Animotion, submitted by Bergalert, who is slightly OCD.

That tapping elf shoe said it all better than I ever could. This video is my obsession. Skip to 2:55 to see your next Halloween costume — sexy Amelia Earhart.

Submitted by S to the Einberg, who rocks a rad clip

Nothing says class like a flourescent colored hair clip. It was the height of cool. Bump It, this is your future.

Submitted by S to the Einberg, who always delivers

Damn that remote control car for always running out in the street! The deep sense of satisfaction I derived from delivering those virtual papers, was hardly normal. But that’s how the best games suck you in.

Submitted by C Fonseca, who always keeps treats in her pouch for “later.”

What’s awesome about these is the pouch. You can be all: What, I’m not playing with a girls toy! It’s a ball, dude! See, just a ball I like to throw around with my amigos.

Submitted by Katherine S. She’s full of freeze dried fun.

Hey Richard Branson, time to bring back this tasty treat. I demand dessert on my way to the moon.

Submitted by Katesmommie, who actually prefers Pepsi. Snap!

The thing about Max is that he lives in the Uncanny Valley. The only way to get there is on the Polar Express.

Gotta hand it to you Coke, you know how to leave a lasting impression.

Submitted by A Zwicky, who knows it’s gonna be that kind of morning.

The best part about this show is how normal I thought it was. Giant tinfoil ball? Sure! Body-less genie in a cabinet? Of course. I wish this would come back on the air so I could watch it all again with fresh perspective.

Submitted by Joseph D, quite the mathlete.

Possibly the best thing about this calculator is that it’s mustachioed. They just don’t make ‘em like they used to.

Submitted by Stephen G, who will be returning shortly.

Everyone together — awkwardly bounce to the beat! Just hope no one at the middle school dance calls you out for singing “return of the man,” instead of “return of the mack.”

Submitted by Stephen G. He’’s so crazy.

An exploding castle! A tricycle! A slingshot! These kids are craaaaazy. The only way this opening could have been more epic is if it included the giant nose from Double Dare.

Submitted by Katherine S, who loves a good colonial style bird house.

The sound effects of Cosby’s drawing pen was my favorite thing as a little kid, but his wry humor tickles me today. I miss old school Cosby and his pudding pops.

Fave comment: Mortimer Ichabod Marker. Who else but Bill Cosby would name a simple dry-erase marker with such a complicated name as that? – Patrick

Submitted by Hyper P. He wants to blow on your shirt.

A lot of inappropriate touching went on because of these shirts. Ah, the memories.  If only they were around today, I’m sure Cheaters would make good use of them.

Submitted by Katherine S

Late breaking news. My Little Ponies are back! Listen to the song-stylings of J-Hud via live action MLP. Um, WTF?

Of course you have no privacy. You’re being taped in the shower for an 80’s music video!

“Mr. Roboto” by Styx, submitted by Nick, who owns a life-size Styx poster. Don’t lie, Nick.

At last,  Styx makes it’s triumphant debut on bad music video Thursday!

“And I Ran” by Flock of Seagulls, submitted by The Berg, who hates birds.

I had a scary thought: What if FOS is right and this is what we’ll find when we go to Mars.

Submitted by Stephen G, who took all my dollar bills!

Oh how I miss that droning monotone. It was like a warm welcome after a long day of exclamations. And who would have guessed that second banana Jimmy Kimmel would be the breakout star?

Submitted by Anthony A, who rides at night.

More awesome than I can begin to describe. I was in awe that it had actual working turn signals. I was five at the time, but whatever. I used to sit at the kitchen table with mine, look out the sliding glass door, and pretend I was driving through the back yard. Props to Actiontoys.com for the only pic I could find of it too.

Let’s all remember “The Hoff” from his glory days on Knight Rider and the unintentionally hilarious Hooked on a Feeling, and pretend to forget that time he got hooked on a burger.

Submitted by Jeff G, who pumps iron with Linda Hamilton.

A dramatization of future Arnold meeting Terminator-era Arnold.

Future Arnold: Yo.

Terminator Arnold: Who? What? Me?

FA: Someday you will rule California. You will be the Governator.

TA: Impossible. I already decided I would forgo politics for a career in body building.

FA: We’ll see what Maria has to say about that.

TA: Who’s Maria?

FA: Mark my words. You’ll be baaaaaack.

Submitted by C Wood, up to no good.

The hair, the clothes, the attitude – so awesome! Also: all still in style. Too bad MTV forgot about playing actual videos. These days a VJ would have to be 16 and pregnant to get on the air.

Submitted by Dann S, we all say he’s buena.

I know many of you out there remember this song. We used to dance this almost everyday and would not get tired of it. We used to hear it at parties of all ages. Memories…

Happy earworm Tuesday! I dare anyone to use this as the ring on their cellphone and let it go off during a meeting. Takers?

Submitted by Lauren and Libby, who secretly hate secrets.

Making makeup look like a toy was a genius move by Galoob. Hook ‘em early, ply them with lip gloss later.

Ed note: I loved these beyond comprehension. They were like transformers, but fed my twee vanity.

Submitted by Rory F, who can’t stand a full moon.

Werewolves were to the 80s what Vampires are to the aughts. So, what’s next? Leprechauns, my friends. With our current recession, what’s better than a creature that steals your gold? Lucky, get ready for your closeup.

Submitted by Troy A. May the force be with him.

Epic, this movie was. No denying it is there.

Submitted by Stephen G, our sponsor.

As a kid I wondered why ABC made a cartoon where three people swapped heads. Now I know — LSD.

Submitted by Stephen G, baller, shot caller.

It’s weird, after I eat a Big Mac the only slam dunk I make is in the toilet bowl.

Submitted by Stephen G, a zookeeper among men.

Was there any toy more practical for a suburban child? I was able to hear a hippo attack a mile away.

A sculpting scene to rival “Ghost.” Except he’s a creepy stalker.

“Strange Animal” by Gowan, submitted by CosmykDolfyn, who clubs the music like a caveman.

Um, does anyone else feel like these guys were just fucking around in their basement with some hunting gear?

“Run Runaway” by Slade, submitted by bdwilcox, who has his brother to thank for his hearing loss.

In honor of my brother who loved Slade and tortured me with their album “Keep Your Hands off my Power Supply”