Epic Win: Fisher Price Roller Skates
Submitted by M Johnson
We were thinking these were a safer (boo) alternative to the Metal Death Skates:
Photo via aw-wrdsmith.com
But now we’re not so sure after reading the Fisher Price website. What do they consider the appropriate age for the roller skates? Two to two-and-a-half years. Heck, we’re older than that and still don’t have the necessary co-ordination!
We’re not pretending to be childcare experts here at OUAW, but that sounds like a perfect recipe for “Baby’s First Emergency Room Visit.”
omg!! I love these!! I used to skate around in the house with them, lol! miss them, too…
I had the metal death skates. I loved those darn things and spent many hours skating in tiny circles on our back patio because my stepdad wouldn’t let me play in the front yard until I was ten.
Wow! My parents wern’t the only ones that didn’t let their small children play in the street?! I thought I was the only one…
I was an 80’s baby so I had the plastic ones, not the metal death skates. Those were my moms.
Oddly enough, I could skate better when I was two and three than I can now. Gota be one of those things like how it’s easyer for kids to pick up a language or how to swim than it is for adults.
When you are smaller your center of gravity is lover so it it easier to balance on things like this. That’s why kids can learn to ride a two wheel bike as young as three.
I had a pair of Death Skates, too. I also remember the good ol’ skate key. Didn’t take long for me to figure out that it fit a 9/16 nut. “Honestly, I dunno how it happened! It just fell apart!”
Don’t forget “Anyone Else In The House’s One-Elebenty-Ninth Emergency Room Visit”… those things always pop up near staircases for some reason… it’s a law of nature.
Amen to that!
I had those too, and my kids had the updated version just a few years ago.
The wheels have locks on them now. They can only move froward, and it’s kinda hard to get them to even do that, so a 2 1/2 year old can use them.
Yup… I don’t think there’s age-discrimination when it comes to the amazing ability to land flat on your face as opposed to landing on your bottom when the wheels could still go backwards.
Safety… yay.
Actually, if your feet go forward, you’re more likely to land on your backside and vice versa. It’s when your body moves forward faster than your feet that you need to be worried about…
My daughter had the plastic ones, with the forward-only setting. About six years old, I think, and she was dubious about how they were working:
“Daddy, am I skating?”
“Sure you are honey — you’re on skates and you’re moving around.”
“I don’t think I am really skating. I think I am just scooting.”
Like I said they BARELY go forward. It’s little more than walking and dragging your feet on the floor.
How sad. Locks on rollerskate wheels! half the fun of those things was never know if you’d break something! My sis and I used to skate in our basement with the metal death skates! They kinda sucked, because they didn’t roll very well, but they sure were fun anyway!
Funny…when i was a kid (early to mid 70’s) i had the plastic ones and they WERE NOT safe at all! As an adult, i think it was one simple design flaw…the corkscrew middle. The concept was awesome, as you grow, they grow with you(i think this is why i got a pair) Every time your foot grew, you gave the top half a quarter turn and wa-la they fit your foot! However, this didn’t mean the plastic corkscrew middle could hold your new weight.
Now this ONLY happened when you were going down an sheer cliff(felt like it when they broke) or being towed by a bike, but they would snap in the middle! The plastic corkscrew would ALWAYS give out/slip a notch or two. Now, with the middle gone, all you had left was wheels on your toes and wheels on your heel with the middle of your foot hitting the ground(im still shocked to this day my foot never snapped in half) Geez how safe is that?
As i look back i also remember being picked on for having the plastic ones…everyone else had the metal ones or actual roller skates(it was the 70’s). The word baby comes to mind…*sigh* : )
Oh, I definitely remember these. The wheels like…clicked. They were loud and not very functional. *reminisces*
That’s what I remember too. I managed to not kill myself on these…
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! These were SO great… I cannot believe the major flow of memories the instant I saw the pic =:D Awww, and then remembering that the wheels would jingle as you rolled along (or did something that resembled skating at 4 yrs old)
JOY ^_^
My sister and I had a pair of those each. We lived in Kentucky and once when it snowed and they were left outside, they froze to the patio. We put our feet in them, tried to pull them out of the ice and the plastic wheels snapped in two! It was more funny than disappointing, somehow.
They use these at the daycare where my (almost) two-year-old goes. I’ve seen her on them. She’s a bit awkward, and she falls down, but she’s so small it doesn’t really matter (low to the ground and light) and I haven’t heard of any emergency room worthy accidents.
I remember these! I remember falling on my ass and putting them in the trash. Even at a young age, self-preservation was strong in me.
Oh god, I remember these. My brother and I lived in the inner city so we weren’t allowed to play outside and we just put these on OUR BARE FEET. Good luck trying to go around on the carpet! At least it didn’t hurt when we fell.
I LOVE this site. You’re always coming up with totally cool stuff that I hadn’t thought of in years yet that I immediately recognize.
These skates remind me of the old, heavy cheap skateboards…the ones you could get at the department store for 9.99 that had like neon orange skulls with mohawks on them.
if any one of those wheels came into contact with even a grain of sand, you were bound for the hospital that day…fun times, and cool scars…
I broke my first bone with these things. Ah, memories.
No way, these things sucked. They were death traps for toddlers and young children. They were fun for about 5 seconds, then you fell, hurt or broke something, cried to mom, swore to never wear them again, and then forgot about the last time a week later because you were a child with a not fully developed brain.
lol these things were great! Memories! Amazingly, as klutzy as I am, I never broke anything on them, that happened later on with roller blades.
Lol, I had those Fisher Price ones that apparently were locked into forward only. They barely moved and made that clicky grinding noise.
LOL oh my god, these were awesome! I had the metal skates for a little while, and the coolest thing was that I could make SPARKS with them on the sidewalk! Its probably amazing I never caught on fire! Good times….
As a Small Person I always wanted those Fisher Price ones, what I ended up with was a jumble sale special which looking at those pictures is possibly what would have happened if the FP ones mated with the Metal Death Skates (adjustable metal with plastic wheels and an almost leather toe bit and strap, that was red, with green laces)! But I loved them, until I fell over a few times and they were thrown to the back of the cupboard never to see the light of day again! Hell, who knows, they may still be back there!
oh wow, i remember those, they were shitty as hell but amused me anyway.
I freaking loved those things. When my dad had guys over to watch a game, I’d put them on and shuttle beer and chips back and forth.
I had a hand-me-down pair of those from a cousin who apparently kept them in a window in the garage, because they were faded, cracked, and fell apart after about 4 uses. On the other hand, I used and still have a pair of metal ones that belonged to my dad. Those were great. This was the mid-late 80’s, I was the only kid around that had them, and they just barely fit on my Nike’s. I had to use household slip-pliers to adjust them until I found the last skate key in all of Texas (probably) at a 5 & dime in Dallas.
Aw, something else the metal death skates were perfect for was rolling over rolled out roll-caps in the driveway.
I cant remember how old I was when I got these, over 3 and under 8, but I loved them. Oh, and this was my submission!
20 years later….I still have the scars from face-planting in the middle of the street on these!
holy balls I had these exact skates!
Oh my gosh. My sister just found my old skates in the garage a few days ago! I’m surprised I even owned a pair, considering the fact that I’m only 15.
I had a pair of these…standing on a brick step with them I slipped and cracked my skull open.
True Story.
I remember they didn’t work very well in the sidewalk…and couldn’t they convert into rollarblades? That took some skill.
hahaha, i used to have a pair of these, i used to play with them up until i was about 10/11 (i had really small feet) then i got given a pair of actual 70s roller skates that used to belong to my mum when she was a kid. Ahh good times.
I had these and absolutely loved them. I am so loving Blasts from the Past!
I had the plastic ones… and used to skate all over the houes if I could. Especially in the kitchen where the floor was smooth.
The driveway that was all bumpy and cracked, on the other hand, did not turn out to be the most pleasant experience…
I have a pair of the plastic ones in my garage.
I had a pair of bright orange and blue plastic chunks with wheels that barely worked, yes.
The thing I remember most is the obnoxious noise the wheels made as they scraped against the driveway.
I remember these! Holy crap! I was terrible at using them because I kept trying to skate on the carpet. Despite this, I was devastated when I grew out of them and my parents informed me that we didn’t have the money for REAL roller skates.
*laughs* My two closest-to-my-age-cousins and I had one pair of these between the THREE of us when we were kids! We used to take turns wearing one skate on each foot and holding on to each other as we ‘roller-skated’ around my Uncle’s concrete basement. I haven’t thought about us doing that in AGES!
Duh, those aren’t “roller skates”. They’re Barbie Cars!!!
dangerous! very dangerous! roller blades are much safer.